Leaders of the world s major Christian religions recently decided to reverse a nearly 2,000 year old pro-meek, pro-poor policy. As of now, the traditional "blessed" status of the world s meek has been rescinded.

"Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ did indeed say that 'blessed are the meek, the church leaders admitted in their press release. "However, there has always been a tacit understanding between the churches and the meek that this 'blessed status was conditional on their eventually inheriting the Earth, an event that seems unlikely to happen any time in the foreseeable future. 

Our relationship must therefore be terminated." Citing "two millennia of inaction and non-achievement" by the world s impoverished and downtrodden, the Pope and leaders of other Christian religions said that their churches had made every effort to help the meek and poor over the centuries, "but at some point, enough is enough." 

They accused the world s estimated 3.4 billion meek and poor of abusing their blessed status for far too long. "The meek have simply sat back and done nothing while others worked hard to improve their lives," the press release declared. "They have collected the churches spiritual welfare cheques for long enough."

The change in policy towards the meek is also rooted in financial considerations. Although more than 80% of the world s Christians live below the poverty line, they contribute less than 2% of the churches annual revenue.

"In light of our financial needs and goals as we enter the 21st century," the church leaders said, "blessed status is now transferred from the meek to the rich, for it is the rich who have clearly inherited the Earth." The top clergy, however, were careful not to deny blessedness to all the meek. "If any of them change their ways and become rich," the press release stated, "they will automatically regain their blessed status."

Internet humor, anonymous